When you have someone special in your life, who makes your life better just by being in it, who makes you feel what all the love songs are about, who you’d become a clown for just to see a smile and who makes you see your capabilities, then you’ll wish to keep that person around forever. You’ll wish to have them around not because you don’t want to feel lonely, but because you love spending time with them and they bring out the best in you. When you’re enchanted by someone, it’s natural that you’ll get closer to that person. And getting closer implies revelation of your inner self, differences in opinions and acceptance of each other’s souls. Therefore, you’ll have to work to grow your bond stronger and build loving relationships that last. After all, it is only the strong bonds that stand the test of time, distance and age. On the other hand, the fragile ones don’t last long, but they do leave a burn when they die. So here’s a list of things you can do to build loving relationships that last.
“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” –Lao Tzu
1. Let Love Be A Two-Way Street
The beauty of love is beyond the comprehension of many. The journey traveled to build loving relationships teaches you that love should pass from you to your significant other and from you to you as well. Self-love helps you ensure that someone else loves you the way you deserve to be loved. It is essential that you love yourself and help your partner love themselves as well, so you can love each other and move forward on your path to building a strong and loving relationship.
2. Trust Demands Honesty
There is no shortcut or other way round to this rule. Trust is one of the most important things when you’re trying to build a loving relationship that lasts. How can you expect your lover to trust you without honesty? Is it even possible to trust someone once you’ve caught them lying? If you’re open about the truth from the beginning, your significant other will know that they can trust you and they can expect loyalty from you. And that’s what you’ll get in return. Remember, truth breeds truth, loyalty breeds loyalty.
3. Grow Out Of The Illusions, Let Reality Make You Happy
Many times, we are in love with the idea of a person and not the person. When we try to make reality meet our expectations, it doesn’t end well. We have to see and accept our partner for who they really are, instead of living a delusional love life. Only then can we truly experience loving someone.
“The (500) Days of Summer attitude of ‘He wants you so bad’ seems attractive to some women and men, especially younger ones. But I would encourage anyone who has a crush on my character to watch it again and examine how selfish he is. He develops a mildly delusional obsession over a girl onto whom he projects all these fantasies. He thinks she’ll give his life meaning because he doesn’t care about much else going on in his life. A lot of boys and girls think their lives will have meaning if they find a partner who wants nothing else in life but them. That’s not healthy. That’s falling in love with the idea of a person, not the actual person.”
–Joseph Gordon Lewitt in regards to the movie “500 Days of Summer”
4. Water Each Other’s Souls
To build a loving relationship that lasts requires complete communication between two souls. How can you be with someone without knowing who they are? How can you know them without communicating with them? You have to encourage your significant other to open up to you and tell you about their fears and insecurities so you can help them overcome those difficulties. Love implies growing together and making your partner feel like they’re safe and cared for when they’re with you.
5. Make Room For Solitude
Even when you have someone that cares about you, you should always make time for self-growth and solitude. It gives you the chance to reinvent yourself and revise what you want from life and helps you focus on your goals as an individual. It makes you an independent soul and hence, more desirable. And it gives your mind a sense of peace and satisfaction, and as a result, you’re happier with your partner. Remember, it is important to have a life outside of your relationships.
6. Only Investments, No Excuses
When you’re in it, make sure you’re in it for good. Excuses are a sign of weakness. When you really care about something, you make it your priority. You do have 2 seconds to say that you’re busy but you still miss them and you’ll contact later, instead of ignoring the person altogether and leaving them waiting for your response, wondering whether you care or not. If you wish to build a loving relationship that lasts, you have to invest yourself in the process. You have to invest time and thoughts and your inner soul as well. Only then will your special someone know that they’re important to you.
7. The Little Things Really Count
Remember the time when someone made you feel special by doing something really little, like bringing you a piece of cake for no reason or calling just to say that they miss you? You feel amazing when your significant other brings you flowers for no occasion. Arrange low-key candlelight dinners or scented baths or give your companion an old-school handwritten love letter. Those are the little things that count and make your partner feel like they’re really special to you.
8. Learn To Care About What Your Significant Other Cares About
When someone is close to you, they’ll open up to you and talk about the things that are important to them. You have to listen to these things and even ask your significant other about them, like how their day was at work, or how the cricket match that they were so excited about was. They’ll know that you only asked it because it matters a lot to them and they’ll feel cared for and they’ll want to do the same for you.
9. Agree To Disagree
We are individual souls with our thought processes so unique that we are bound to have differences of opinions every now and then. And frankly, you can take that in a positive way and allow your partner to enlighten you about something that you didn’t know if you keep your mind broad and your ears open. Disagreements don’t always need to turn into ugly fights, instead, they can be topics for healthy discussions where you can learn from each other and respect each other’s perceptions.
10. Be Spontaneous Together
Have you ever wanted to just take the next train to Mount Everest and climb the whole mountain or to wear the funkiest clothes on a casual day but didn’t because you didn’t have someone to enjoy it with? Well, when you’re in a loving relationship, it can be a great opportunity to do all the exciting and crazy things you’ve always wanted to do and have someone to share those moments with. This way, you can keep the excitement alive in a relationship by doing something out of the blue every now and then.
To build loving relationships that last, you need to first build a strong relationship with yourself and re-assess your qualities. Strong, fulfilling relationships require two people who are outrightly mature, sensible & in love with each other.