Confidence can take many forms, from arrogance to self-assurance But one thing’s for sure- being confident has a look of its own, and it is attractive.

In simple words, confidence means you believe you are good and can do good. You are sure of yourself and you know that whatever happens, you will be okay.

To put it even more simply: not being confident in yourself is terrible. You’re always worried about receiving judgements. You’re conscious of the way you look. You’re a prisoner in your own mind.

The most important step towards having more confidence is understanding what it is.

When we think of a confident person, we think of someone who is aggressive, opinionated, headstrong, dominating, the sort of person people would make way for, someone who walks so that everyone moves aside. This is a little different in the case of women. Extensive research has proven that women who generally come across as confident – women who are bold or assertive, are usually disliked by their mutuals, including other women. Long story short, women who are “confident” are viewed as cold and insensitive. This, along with societal standards of “beauty” and “success” confining us, makes it harder for the 20th-century woman to be confident and accepted at the same time.

But having an opinion, being proud of yourself, or believing you’re perfect is not necessarily confidence.

Maybe, confidence doesn’t mean you have to be exactly who your role model is.

Possibly, confidence doesn’t have to be loud, confidence could be in your silence.

It doesn’t have to mean you’re the one who always speaks first.

Neither does it mean you’re always one to be heard.

Confidence could be gentle persuasion and accommodation rather than dominance along with disregard for someone else’s opinion.

It could mean that your vulnerabilities are NOT weaknesses,

They are strengths that let you connect with those you love better.

Perhaps we’ve misunderstood what confidence really is.

The idea of confidence could change from person to person, really. There is no one ideal “confident person” that we should all try to be, because confidence is about being comfortable, and to some extent happy, with yourself, just the way you are.

The question we’re trying to answer is – how do we stay confident as women?

Well, we all wish there was some sort of cookbook, telling us the magic ingredient to do this. Unfortunately, it can’t be taught, only learnt.

But, these are some things you must keep in mind while you try to do so-

1. Learn to feel happiness from within. Happiness is a vital element of confidence because, in order to be confident in what you do, you have to be happy with who you are.

2. Admit your flaws. We all have our strengths and weaknesses, the key is to accept them, mend them, until you’re comfortable having them. Find beauty in your flaws, they’re what make you unique.

3. Listen to yourself. This sounds cliché, but follow your heart trust yourself. Don’t seek the approval of many people before making a decision, it’s YOURS. And just like everything else you do, the only opinion that matters is yours.

4. Appreciate everything around you, as much as you can. Try complimenting all your friends, try seeing the beauty around yourself. One day, you’ll see it in you too.

5. Never stop learning. Asking for help doesn’t make you unintelligent. You know your weaknesses, and seeking help to fill the gaps is sensible, and shows you are confident, but not over-confident to an extent of arrogance.

At the end of the day, the journey to confidence is a long, hard one. But, every step you take is worth it.

Perfection is a perception, and you are absolutely phenomenal the way you are, you just don’t see it yet.

So, take it easy,

Smile,

Breathe,

Because, it’s okay, you’re here to make your own cookbook, with your own recipes; and call it your life.

Just remember, real queens fix each other’s crowns.