If you’re one of those hopeless romantics who believe that the feeling of being lovesick to the point where you can’t breathe without a person, is what makes a relationship successful, then it’s about time that you re-frame your facts.
At the risk of being called a cold-blooded love antagonist, I’m going to tell you something about love. Love is a chemical cocktail, a hormonal reaction that messes up our capability of thinking rationally. Don’t trick into believing that I ain’t romantic. I certainly am a complete believer & ardent supporter of story-book kind of romances. However, I also believe that love isn’t the most important ingredient in the recipe of a successful relationship. There are a fair number of days when you do not or cannot love your beau with all you have. There are a number of mornings when you wake up without feeling those mushy love-sick butterflies in your tummy and a number of nights when you do not wish to cuddle your partner to sleep. More so, that fainting high that you get glaring into your lover’s eyes, sooner or later vanishes away. At all such times, what makes your relationship survive & endure the challenges of personal idiosyncrasies? Respect.
Mutual respect is the one key ingredient in the recipe of every successful relationship, for a relationship without respect from both the ends is like a building without a strong foundation. Mutual respect is one strong factor that distinguishes romantic love from true love. While the former hastily and childishly screams ‘I love you’, the latter softly and gently whispers in the ear, ‘I respect you, no matter what.’ Once that dizzy high of romantic love has withered away with the tyrannies of time, what’s left is the feeling that you’ve been set out for a lifetime with a human you out-rightly respect and love being with.
Communications can break down, shared life-goals can alter, mutual paths can deviate, attraction can diminish, and conflicts are a given, but the only thing that can safeguard you and your SO, that can buffer you both from the tough setbacks of human foibles, is an infallible respect for each other, the fact that you hold one another in high regard and trust each other, often more than you trust yourselves. Without this foundation of respect beneath the tower of your relationship, you will end up mistrusting each other’s intents. You will criticize the life-choices they make and intrude in their freedom. You won’t feel the need to share everything as the fear of being judged will lurk you, the intimacy and comfort will slowly vanish to pave way for a meaningless union. This is exactly when the cracks will begin surfacing up on the outside. You will start recalling the beginning of your relationship and this exactly will be the end.
So make sure that you do not let this respect wither away, no matter what. And more importantly, understand that your respect for your partner and for yourself, are both interlinked and interdependent, because without enough self-respect, you would not feel deserving of the respect from your partner and neither will you be able to give him the respect he deserves. Your lack of respect for your own self will consistently backfire and manifest in the form of inability of others to respect or love you.
Remember that if you choose your partner, you’ve got to live up to that choice by respecting them and giving them the independence to just be.