“The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. And that’s what you’ve given me. That’s what I’d hoped to give you forever”- Nicholas Sparks
All living beings have a sexual nature. Most of us want, need and love to be sexual, right? It’s innate. In fact, sex is a part of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs and Freud’s psychoanalytic theory deemed sexual tendency as something present right from birth. There’s no doubt to the fact that sex is one of our most straightforward biological and physiological needs, alongside food and shelter. Yet the estimated time most couples spend making love is just 11 minutes and sometimes it’s not even exciting. Between one-third and one-half of long-term relationships experience low drive and it is not rare for partners to find other sexual outlets.
And when it comes to love, well, in this world of abundance, brimming with faces, places, and dreams, it’s a lot easier to fall in love with the finite than it is to give in to the infinite. In an urban space, one falls in love six times over before arriving to work in the morning. Crisply baked pastries, the euphoric aroma of piping hot coffee beans, the elaborate graffiti, the music of the coffee shops, the perfume lingering outside a high couture, the city and moreover this world provide us with endless opportunities to mistake a high with love. And for us millennials, it’s enough to feel something, to feel anything, and just call it a day. Pick a love, any love and call it your own.
But when it comes to staying in love, that’s where the struggle begins for many of us.
A number of times, my friends inquisitively question me how they can recognize if someone is right for them or how they can know if they truly love someone. Today’s post is a reply to all such curiosities.
Spoiler alert: Don’t fall in love with sex, fall in love with the soul. In other words, do not fall in love with someone because they’re great in bed, fall in love because you connect with their soul. Then, choosing to stay wouldn’t be such a hard task.
Many great sages have remarked that love is blind. This is because when we fall in love, we are hit by a hurricane of hormones that are lovely but can momentarily dislodge us from reality. So if you and your SO have incredible physical intimacy and you think this alone will help you form an enduring relationship, think again. That’s a misconception. Bonding, intimate, wild sex is great, but not great enough to fall in love with. A deeper connection entails you to fall in love with someone’s soul, the essence of the other person’s higher-self.
But how does that work? How exactly do you love someone’s soul?
It’s no science. There’s no crash course offered here. Connecting with another’s soul is very special and often unusual. It’s not really something under your control. It just happens or it doesn’t. But, oh when it does, that soulful connection is simply invincible. It is splendid in itself. It can drive you crazy or bring you to the heights of bliss or both. As intimidating as it sounds, falling in love with someone’s soul is the best you can get in this lifetime.
Lucky are those who’ve met someone from their soul group and fallen for him/her, even if that love was momentary because I see so many people pass through their entire life without having felt such a blissful connection. I believe we get very few opportunities to fall in love with someone so deeply. We’re speaking of a soulful connective energy that communicates in its own language–a love so darn deep that sometimes all you need to do is to look at each other to know what the other is thinking or feeling. And if he is not physically around you, all you have to do is just think of him. Your bodies might be miles away, but there will always be an invincible path traversing from your heart to his. This is how souls know souls. They’re super pro at this. They have evolved over many lifetimes. Your soul knows a lot better than you and is continually functioning to lead you, to help you grow, evolve, and live this lifetime in the best way possible. This beautiful thing inside you is a million years old, too old to be captured in sonnets or described in fables. So never dishonor the soul. It will outgrow your physical body and continue to evolve.
The soul never dies. And when it matches up with another soul at its energy level of intellect, compassion, understanding, kindness, and love, it is like the union of two entwined magnets. The vibrational energy between them is so strong, that distances, slip-ups, misunderstandings, and misdeeds can’t break their bond. The souls know each other too well for this world to mess with them. They completely understand each other.
And when you fall in such a soulful connection, the depths of your bond will be so profound that you’ll find all other loves shallow. Such a soul can make love to you by just staring into your eyes, it can pull you from a distance. Such a soul knows what to do with all the fire burning inside you. Souls whisper to each other and once they’ve collided, they never sleep. They do not need dates or text messages to know one another and when love runs soul deep, a kiss is no longer just a kiss, it is the horizon where earth and heaven unite.
You will find this soulful connection when you’ll go searching for yourself when you’ll have learned many lessons of love, loss & forgiveness, when you’ll have undergone a certain spiritual transformation. You will fall when you’ll least expect to. But, oh, the falling will feel so natural like maybe your love was carved from the earth, like maybe you two were made up of the same stardust. There’ll be fireworks bursting at your fingertips every time you two touch and this penetration will trespass all physical and psychological connections.
The soulful love is one of the highest levels of love between creatures. Such a connection makes you more of who you really are. It empowers you and reconnects you to the endless potential within you. It’s an opportunity for your soul to conquer higher evolution and enlightenment. This connection that stirs your soul is the only real connection; everything else is just a treaty.
So while you may be dying to burn the sexual fire, spark that fire with a soul that is worthy of your soul’s beauty. Fall in love with the soul that will always reach out to you even when the phone lines are closed or the internet is crashed. That’s the soul to hold close, that’s the soul to stay in love with, forever.
And if you haven’t yet come across this soul to love, open your heart to endless opportunities. He could be right around the corner waiting for you to accidentally bump into; she could be at the coffee checkout counter thinking of you. Well, who knows? Certainly, your soul does.