Do you know someone who complains constantly about everything under the sun? Or someone whose negativity drains away all cheer and hope from a room? Probably someone who repeatedly resorts to lies or exaggeration or manipulation? If you answered ‘yes’ to even one of these questions, then the person you know is ‘toxic’ to you and everyone around you. Even though no one is born good or bad, some peoples’ energies are too draining. So, it becomes imperative to know how to handle toxic people in either your personal or work life in order to be successful and feel empowered, which is exactly what we’re going to tell you now. Keep reading.
1. Create A Personal Bubble
Have you had a person complain or whine to you all day, and you being the conscientious citizen, decide to be sympathetic, only for things to get even worse? They begin taking you for granted, and keep guilt tripping you into feeling sorry for them and helping them out. These are exactly the kind of behaviors a toxic person will employ.
Successful people evade this by setting up limits, or a personal ‘bubble’ beyond which no one else can enter. It is considered good manners to listen to others’ problems, but only as long as you’re comfortable, and not feeling pestered.
2. Live Another Day
Listening to negative speech and complaints can make you feel dilapidated and mentally stressed for the day, but you must remember that there are more days ahead of you.
Successful people don’t lose heart during such situations, and they handle toxic people by standing their ground and holding the fort. Each day brings fresh challenges and new battles, so it is unwise to be bogged down by just one day of constant, toxic whining. Instead, live to fight another day.
3. Rise Above Problems
Problems plague each and every one of us, every day. Toxic people tend to dwell only on these problems and quetch about life’s unfairness to every person who makes the mistake of lending an ear to them. Successful people, on the other hand, tackle problems head-on and devise solutions to alleviate them. And this is also how they handle toxic people: by approaching them as they approach any other problem, and by finding a solution that effectively rises above the negativity oozing from such people.
4. Control Emotions
Toxic people can really get on your nerves, especially if you’ve had an already taxing day. So, it’s only a matter of time before all that internal pressure simmering within you leads to a full-on explosion. And the person who’s most likely to be negatively affected by this whole fiasco is probably you! Successful people are the ones who have mastered the art of compartmentalizing their emotions. They feel where they ought to, and they think where they have to. They handle toxic people by not letting their emotions get the better of them. Instead, they remain rational, and get themselves out of the problem in a courteous but efficient manner: by not allowing themselves to be manipulated by the needs of a toxic person.
5. Establish Boundaries
Similar to a personal bubble, one must also establish boundaries for others. Successful people only take in important details and facts, and filter out all the unnecessary clutter that a toxic person tends to bring into a conversation. Different people have gripes about different things, and a successful person knows by experience which ones are useful at work or personally, and which ones are to be ignored or taken with a pinch of salt.
6. Embrace Joy
Have you ever achieved something good at work or in your personal life, only to have your sense of accomplishment be torn down by the naysayers and the envious? Well next time, don’t let others choose what you can and cannot be happy about. A hallmark of successful people is that they are not defined by the comments and outlooks of those around them. They handle toxic people and their toxic jealousies by doing what they do best: enjoying their work on their way to their next successful venture. Haters gonna hate, right?
7. Solutions Over Problems
Toxic people focus on their own problems so much that they are the ones who end up becoming problems for others around them. They stress out, and cause others to succumb to stress as well. How does one tackle this? Well, successful people don’t just fixate on what caused the problem or why the problem is affecting them, but they immediately set about looking for a way to solve that problem. If you’re going to be preoccupied by something anyhow, choose to be preoccupied by solutions rather than problems.
8. Forgive, Not Forget
In a community or within a team, there are always those that continually dampen team spirit and dash hopes. And there are always those whose negativity and chronic failures bring down even a well-oiled machine. It is very difficult to get such people and their lackadaisical efforts out of your thoughts, especially if all your hard work goes down the drain. Successful people are very good at forgetting these situations, but they never forgive them. They, instead, use this to manoeuvre and handle toxic people by implementing fail-safes so that the team does not suffer due to one person’s ineptitude.
Also read: 5 Healthy Habits Of Super Successful Women
9. Say No To Negativity
Toxic people emanate an aura of negativity around them that could slowly seep into others, draining away their patience and cheerfulness. Successful people are not immune towards such pervading pessimism, however, they are very effective at negating it by reaffirming their own positive attitudes towards work and life in general.
Such introspection is a clear sign of self-confidence and equipoise, which is what makes successful people… well, successful! In other words, their strong sense of self-identity does not allow them to be sucked into the whirlpool of negativity that toxic people seem to thrive in.
10. Reduce Adrenaline
Often, an emotional outburst is met with an equally emotional outburst. The emotions may be anger or sadness or loathing, but it doesn’t change the fact that such scenes are unwelcome in a professional, and even in a personal, milieu. The chief perpetrator behind emotional responses is adrenaline, and successful people are very good at not allowing this hormone to dictate terms to them.
So whenever successful people run into overwhelming emotional encounters with toxic people, they let rational sense subdue the heat of the moment. Also, lay off the coffee a bit. Caffeine is a known booster of adrenaline production in the body.
11. Sleep It Off
The best remedy for stress or anxiety or emotional drain is the good ol’ sleep! For ages, our elders have hammered home the fact that sleep is good for you, and they were right. Sleep replenishes much-needed energy for the brain. A good night’s sleep on a regular basis also improves cognition, memory, and general soundness of the mind. Being deprived of sleep can make people cranky and prone to anger.
Successful people always make the time to fit in a good rest at night. The duration of sleep varies for each people, but the result is the same: they can handle toxic people after a nap with a fresh, rejuvenated, well-rested mind!
12. Lean On Others
When waging a lone battle against toxic people begins to become too much to handle, there is always the tried and trusted option of depending on family and friends for help. Not only will they act as stress busters, but they also have the luxury of having a third person’s perspective to the situation, and hence can provide objective and useful advice. Successful people have a strong ‘support cast’ behind them who act as a sort of cushion to fall back on during tough and ‘toxic’ circumstances, and spring right back up with an improved understanding on how to tackle their problems.
Toxic people defy the laws of nature and rationality because all the brouhaha and fuss they make is either unsubstantiated or overtly exaggerated. Nevertheless, such people exist in our world, in your world, so we need to make an effort to counter such negativity and mental agony when we come across such toxic people.
Successful people are those who either triumph over or nullify toxic characters in their lives, and with all our tips on how to handle toxic people, you can be a successful & empowered person too.